


Dearest Johannes

by ariddletobesolved



Series: Helsa Week 2020 [5]
Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - World War I, Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:06:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24929650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariddletobesolved/pseuds/ariddletobesolved
Summary: In the midst of grief and sorrow, she found herself writing a letter to her dear husband.For Helsa Week 2020, Day 5: Time Period.
Relationships: Elsa/Hans (Disney)
Series: Helsa Week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799497
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	Dearest Johannes

_Dearest Johannes,_

Elsa penned, before pausing to raise a brow at his given name. She smiled, knowing how it would annoy her dearest husband. After contemplating if she should grab a new parchment, she decided to stick with it.

_Before you wonder if you are in trouble, please note that you are not. I didn't know what I was thinking, honestly, and perhaps I was only finding an excuse to address you with your full name. It has been a while since the last time I scolded you, and I guess my wife instinct just misses that._

Elsa let out a sigh, as she remembered that time when she scolded him for making fun of her growing belly. She was three months pregnant, then, and Hans joked about her random craving, especially for chocolates. But that was almost six months prior. _Oh, how time flies_ , she thought. She wondered what he would say if he could see her then. Her belly had grown bigger now, and the doctor told her that she is due any day now.

_It seems like I am not the only one who misses you. Our child has been more active lately. I think he might be taking after his father. Yes, I do think it's a boy. I mean, he barely stays still, keeping me up all night. We know who else in our household that loves to act like that. I wish you were here, Hans. You always know how to comfort me at night._

For a moment, her mind began to wander back to their last encounter. It was two nights before he went back to his duty as a commander. They were there, lying bare under the covers, savouring every moments while it lasted.

 _'I still don't want you to go, Hans.'_ She murmured, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. _'What if you won't be able to be here when the baby's born?'_

Hans chuckled. _'Elsa, love.'_ He looked at the woman he held in his arm, thumb rubbing the skin of her waist, trying to reassure her. _'I know I can't promise you anything. You told me that the war should teach us not to make promises, but I can assure you something.'_

 _'What?'_ Her big blue eyes bore into his green ones with wonder.

He smiled. _'That I will be here,'_ he gently poked her chest with his fingers, just above her beating heart. _'Always.'_

Elsa reminisced the moment with a small smile on her face. Shaking her head, she decided to continue writing.

_Things are fine so far. Anna is engaged to Kristoff, yes the boy proposed two weeks ago on Christmas. He did ask for my permission—and yours, if only you were here. And I, of course, approved. We have seen how well he treated Anna, haven't we? Like that time when he was on leave, he took Anna out and serenaded her under the moonlight as they did a stargazing in the garden. He is something. Goodness, I feel like a mama already, and our son isn't even born yet._

She placed a hand on her belly, giving it a gentle caress, just like how her husband usually did. The slight movement made her heart swell. Her blue eyes darted at a framed photograph standing on the desk. A small smile played on her lips, remembering the brave commander who posed proudly for that picture.

Elsa was a shy girl, and it took a few minutes for her to relax, before having their picture taken. Hans was there, complementing her looks, making her blush. He even gave her a few kisses on the cheek and held her hands to help her ease the tension. And it worked. It was as if he was made to complement her, in a way she couldn't explain. Biting her lower lip, she went back to the letter.

_While me and our son? We are doing well, in case you're wondering. Oh, silly me, of course you're wondering! You've always been worried, haven't you? Always being that perfect gentleman, looking out for me and making sure of my well-being, even before we got married and you were fighting battles at sea with my father. It has been, what, three years—since our first meeting? How time flies, yet some things never change._

Their first meeting happened once upon a time, when Admiral Lord Agnarr Arrington—Elsa's father came home with a few of his men. The newly promoted Lieutenant Johannes Westergaard was among the group. He was the youngest, and sometimes he couldn't keep up with the conversation. One afternoon, he sneaked out of the drawing room and wandered around the mansion. Then he found her having tea in the pavilion by the garden on her own.

Elsa recognised him as one of her father's men, but something about him sparked a curiosity within her. Hands were shaken, and names were exchanged. Suddenly, they found themselves establishing a correspondence, which led to something more.

Hans knew how to comfort her. Somehow, he always found a way. His warm embrace, butterfly kisses, and whispers of sweet nothings, she would have them forever, only if she could. He listened to her ramblings. He held her when she received the news about her father's tragic fate in the battle, and he still did so on the following month, when her mother followed him to the graveyard. Hans didn't have to try too hard. _He just gets her_ , as Anna put it, when Elsa accidentally eavesdropped her sister's conversation with Kristoff.

The thoughts of him stirred something inside her. And Elsa let out another sigh.

_I miss you, so very much, my love. Not a day goes by without you in my mind. I long for your touch, your kisses, your smile, everything. Photographs do capture those precious moments, but they aren't you. And the bed feels so empty without you. Okay, perhaps I should stop right here. Don't want to get carried away, do we?_

Her gaze landed on the framed photograph, this time she reached out to pick it up. Tracing her fingers over the smooth surface, her vision got blurry with tears. Her fingertips were tingling, as she imagined the feeling of his skin as she cupped his cheeks, or the feeling of his hair as she brushed it back from his face. His charming and proud smile was there, frozen in time. He was there, but not alive. Placing the frame back to its proper place, she took a deep breath. Yes, she loved him. But she couldn't really do anything about it, well, except for writing everything down.

_I don't know what to tell you, except for I love you. I feel like I need to let you know this so, so many times. I hope you won't get tired of it. You would always love me, like you promised on our wedding day, wouldn't you? Oh, I shouldn't doubt it, of course you would!_

Realisation began to sink in, as Elsa felt a tear rolled down her cheek.

_The war is over, Hans. Thought you should know. Yes, it is. People take to the street to celebrate, while here I am, writing to you. Even Anna and Kristoff are currently going out. They deserve to have some time for themselves, you know, after what they had been through. Everyone deserves happiness, even just a little bit. And as long as they are happy, I am too._

Drops of tears were staining the parchment, as Elsa wrote the last part. She put down the pen to wipe some tears. The past few months had taken its toll on her. She was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. And she just missed him, very much.

_I'm sorry for crying. I know how much you hate to see me cry, but it's been hard, Hans. I don't know if I can do this on my own. I need you here, with me, with our son. Why did everything fall apart just when I thought we would be alright? You should have been here, celebrating the victory, the peace we finally gain, after years of battles. Does universe hate us so much that we end up separated?_

Elsa sighed, resting her forehead against the heel of her palms. Her blue eyes fluttered closed, as she tried to gather herself together. Certainly this was an ending she refused to accept.

 _'Hans wouldn't want that, Elsa.'_ Elsa remembered how Anna tried to comfort her, a week after his departure.

 _'How do you know? You don't even know him that well!'_ She snapped at her sister. Once she realised what she said, Elsa's glare softened. _'Oh, I'm sorry, Anna, I just don't know what to do.'_

As she broke into a sobbing mess, Anna quickly pulled her into an embrace, giving her a comfort. 

_'I am not telling you to stop grieving, Elsa.'_ Anna murmured. _'I want you to stop dwelling on it, okay? For your child.'_

Caressing her belly, Elsa muttered, 'Mama is sorry, darling.' She snivelled. 'Mama is sorry for not being strong enough.'

After taking a few moments to breathe, she remembered that she still needed to finish the letter. Picking up the pen, she bit her lower lip.

_Johannes Agnarr Westergaard. I figured, I should name our child after two heroes, who have been fighting the war bravely, the heroes whose stories I will tell our future generations. He must be proud, to have you as a father, Hans. Just like I do._

Elsa forced a smile, but the sadness lingered on. Taking a deep breath, she began to write, shakily. She finally came to the hardest part: letting go.

_This probably is my last letter to you, Hans. The last one of too many. I'll always miss you, yes. But I know, I must be strong. For our child. And I love you so much, always have and always will. You will always be mine, my dearest Johannes, like I will always be yours. I will treasure our memories, and keep your legacy alive. I have never imagined living life without you, but I guess I should try. You will always be here with me, I know that, and I am grateful._

_I love you, Hans, my dearest Johannes. Rest well, my darling._

_Until we meet again._

_Yours forever,_

_Elisabeth Westergaard_


End file.
